If you think your child or student is being bullied physically, talk to them in a casual manner about what's going on before school, during class, during lunch or recess, and on the way home from school.
Ask them if anyone has been, or is being, mean to them. Keep your emotions in check, and stay calm and caring in your tone, or your child may shut off and not tell you what's happening.
If you find that physical bullying is occurring, contact the appropriate school officials, or law enforcement officers — there are anti-bullying laws at the local, state and federal levels. Do not confront the bully, or the bully's parents, on your own. Verbal — Verbal bullying involves putting down others and bullying them using cruel, demeaning words. Verbal bullying includes name calling, making racist, sexist or homophobic remarks or jokes, insulting, slurs, sexually suggestive comments, or abusive language of any kinds.
Verbal bullying is one of the most common forms of bullying. So how do you know when a child is being verbally bullied? They may be straight forward and tell you that somebody said something that hurt their feelings, or ask you if something someone said about them is true. Verbal bullying can be difficult to address. The best way to deal with verbal bullying is to build childrens' self confidence. Confident kids are less susceptible to verbal bullying than those who already struggle with poor self esteem and self image.
Students should be taught in the classroom to treat everyone with respect and that there is never an excuse for saying something mean or disrespectful to someone else. Social — Social bullying is a common form of bullying among children and students. It involves exclusion from groups, spreading malicious rumors and stories about others, and generally alienating people from social acceptance and interaction.
Next to verbal bullying, social bullying is one of the most common forms of bullying. Social bullying can be one of the hardest forms of bullying to identify and address — but it's just as damaging as other forms of bullying, and the effects can last a long time. Children being bullied socially may experience mood changes, become withdrawn, and start spending more time alone.
Social bullying is more common among girls than boys. The best way to identify social bullying is to stay close to your kids and maintain an open line of communication. Talk to them nightly about how their day went and how things are going in school. Focus on building their self esteem and get them involved in extracurricular activities outside of school such as team sports, music, art and other activities where they develop friendships and interact with others.
Cyberbullying — Cyberbullying is the least common type of bullying, but it can be just as damaging as other forms of bullying. It includes any type of bullying that occurs via the Internet or through electronic mediums. They often frequent social media sites such as facebook, twitter, etc. If a child or student seems upset, sad or anxious after being online, especially if they're visiting social media websites, it may be a sign they're being cyberbullied. Kids and students who are cyberbullied exhibit many of the same characteristics as kids being bullied physically, verbally or socially.
They may become withdrawn, anxious, distant, or want to stay home from school. Children need to know that if they encounter cyberbullying they shouldn't respond, engage, or forward it. Instead, they need to inform their parents or a teacher so the communication can be printed out and taken to the proper authorities.
When cyberbullying includes threats of violence or sexually explicit content, law enforcement should be involved. Where Does Bullying Occur? Anti-bullying Laws and Policies Currently, there aren't any Federal anti-bullying laws.
Step 1 - Be Aware and pay attention. The first and more important step to combating and preventing bullying is being aware that it's a problem and paying attention to warning signs.
Parents and teachers must know the warning signs and proactively look for them. The most common warning signs that bullying is occurring and may be a problem include unexplained physical injuries such as cuts, scrapes or bruises, a change in eating habits, anxiety and fear of attending school, avoidance of social situations, and becoming withdrawn, distant or isolated.
However, many students who are being bullied try to hide the fact that it's occurring. For this reason, parents and teachers must engage students on a daily basis, encourage open conversation, and pay close attention. Step 2 - Recognize it is a problem and don't ignore it. Bullying is happening in every elementary school, middle school and high school in the United States — and it's getting worse. Bullying is extremely damaging to the emotional, physical and psychological well being of the person getting bullied and those who see it.
It causes immediate and lasting effects. It is never harmless. Whenever a student feels the least bit threatened — even if it seems like harmless teasing — take it seriously, assure the student being bullied you're there for them, and that the incident will be taken care of. Step 3 - Act immediately. When you recognize someone is being bullied do something immediately.
Don't ever take the attitude "kids will be kids" or "It isn't a big deal". Yes, kids will be kids but bullying, in any form, is a very big deal. Bullying can affect kids for a lifetime. If you're not sure bullying is occuring, intervene anyway and politely remind students of proper behavior, respect and edicate.
If you're a teacher, always refer to the anti-bullying policy at your school. Step 4 - Remain calm and stay in control. Intervene, but don't get involved. Don't start arguing with the students. Be respectful and show them what proper behavior is through your example.
If physical bullying occurred, make sure no one is hurt. Send bystanders on their way and take the students involved in the bullying to an appropriate place. Try to keep your emotions in check. Emphasize the value of open, ongoing communication with you and with teachers or school counselors. Be sure to document the dates and times of bullying incidents, the responses from people involved, and the actions that have been taken.
Do not contact the parents of the bully or bullies to resolve matters on your own. If your child continues to be physically hurt, and you need additional assistance beyond the school, contact local law enforcement. There are local, state, and federal anti-bullying and harassment laws that require prompt corrective action.
What It Is: Relational bullying, or bullying with exclusionary tactics, involves deliberately preventing someone from joining or being part of a group, whether it's at a lunch table, game, sport, or social activity. Example: A group of girls in dance class keeps talking about a weekend sleepover and sharing pictures, treating the one uninvited child as if she were invisible.
How to Spot the Signs: Watch for mood changes, withdrawal from peer groups, and a shift toward being alone more than usual. Girls are more likely than boys to experience social exclusion, nonverbal, or emotional intimidation.
The pain can be as strong as physical bullying and last even longer. What to Do: Make it a nightly routine to talk with your kids about how their day went, advises Jennifer Cannon, a family therapist in Newport Beach, California. Help them find things that make them happy, point out their positive qualities, and make sure they know there are people who love and care about them.
Focus on developing their talents and interests in music, arts, athletics, reading, and after-school activities so your kids build relationships outside of school.
What It Is: Cyberbullying, or bullying in cyberspace, involves haranguing someone by spreading mean words, lies, and false rumors through e-mails, text messages, and social media posts. Sexist, racist, and homophobic messages create a hostile atmosphere, even when not directly targeting your child. Example: When someone tweets or posts, "Kayden is a total loser. Why is anyone hanging out with him?
He's so gay. How to Spot the Signs: Watch to see if your child spends more time online visiting social media pages or texting but appears to be sad and anxious afterward.
Even though she's reading painful things on her computer, tablet, or phone, this may be her only social outlet. Also take note if she has trouble sleeping, begs to stay home from school, or withdraws from activities she once loved. Agree on age-appropriate time limits. Know the popular and potentially abusive sites, apps, and digital devices before your kids use them.
Let your kids know you will be monitoring their online activities. Tell them that if they experience cyberbullying, they shouldn't engage, respond, or forward it.
Instead, they should inform you so you can print out the offending messages, including the dates and times of when they were received. Report cyberbullying to the school and to the online service provider. If the cyberbullying escalates to include threats and sexually explicit messages, also contact local law enforcement. If your child does approach you about being bullied or about someone else being bullied, be supportive, praise her courage for telling you, and gather information without getting angry or accusatory.
A bully might make a crude comment about a peer's appearance, attractiveness, sexual development, or sexual activity. In extreme cases, sexual bullying opens the door to sexual assault. Girls are often the targets of sexual bullying both by boys and by other girls. Boys might touch them inappropriately, make crude comments about their bodies, or proposition them. Sexting also can lead to sexual bullying. If a girl sends a photo of herself to a boyfriend, he may share that photo widely if they break up.
She becomes the target of sexual bullying because people make fun of her body, call her crude names, and make vulgar comments about her. Some boys may even see this as an open invitation to proposition her or sexually assault her. Prejudicial bullying is based on prejudices tweens and teens have toward people of different races, religions, or sexual orientation. This type of bullying can encompass all the other types of bullying.
When prejudicial bullying occurs, kids are targeting others who are different from them and singling them out. Oftentimes, this type of bullying is severe and can open the door to hate crimes. Any time a child is bullied for his sexual orientation, race, or religion, it should be reported. Bullies have different styles, personalities, goals, and behaviors. Their motivations for and methods of bullying are all different. And not all bullies will fit neatly into a category.
Some bullies will fall into several categories and some may appear to be in a category all their own. Bully-victims often rise up after being bullied. They bully others weaker than them because they, too, have been bullied.
Their goal usually is to regain a sense of power and control in their lives. This type of bully is very common. In fact, a large number of kids who bully others have been bullied themselves by peers.
Their bullying is a way of retaliating for the pain they are feeling. Other times the bully-victim comes from a home with domestic violence or suffers abuse from an older sibling. In these cases, bullying is a learned behavior. Most bully-victims are loners or fall at the bottom of the social ladder at school.
This fact adds to the sense of powerlessness and anger they feel. Consequently, they often appear hostile, which can cause them to be unpopular. This, in turn, perpetuates the cycle of the bully victim. Popular bullies have big egos. They are confident and condescending. They usually have a group of followers and may feel like they rule the school.
These bullies have a sense of entitlement that can stem from their popularity, size, upbringing, or socioeconomic status.
They thrive on the physical power and control they have over their victims and may boast about their bullying. Popular boys most often bully others through physical acts like pushing someone around, taking their books, or pinning them against lockers. Popular girls are more likely to use relational aggression. They spread rumors, are manipulative, and often exclude others. They thrive on the attention and power they get from bullying.
Peers often tolerate this type of bully because they would rather be accepted than bullied. Excluding, isolating, and ostracizing others are the most common weapons used by this type of bully. Most often, the relational bully will use only verbal or emotional bullying to maintain control.
Many times, mean girls are relational bullies. Relational bullies also maintain their power by using rumors, gossip, labels, and name-calling. Typically, they target others because they are jealous or feel they are socially unacceptable. Maintaining popularity is the key reason for relational aggression. The relational bully will do anything to be part of the "in crowd.
The serial bully is another type of bully often found in popular circles. These bullies are systematic, controlled, and calculated in their approach. Parents, teachers, and administrators may have no idea what a serial bully is capable of. This type of bully appears sweet, charming, and charismatic to authority figures. But, they can be cold and calculating and tend to inflict emotional pain on their victims over long periods of time.
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